When a Customer Doesn't Like What You're Selling - #005

Show Notes

Nola and Lori are sales rejection averse. To challenge their perspective as well as their resilience, they decided to see if there’s an upside to handling customer rejection. To do this they wondered if rejection could be avoided? Is there an alternative lens to look at rejection that could turn a negative into a positive? ​

Thanks for Listening!
You can subscribe to Lori and Nola's show, (we love you and want to make it easy) on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to podcasts.
We love hearing from you! Leave or speak your message here
If you haven’t already, please connect with us on Facebook! 
Would you like to be a featured guest or have your question, comment or review mentioned? Ask Muse!
Sticky Brand Lab
Let’s dive into this week’s episode!
In This Episode You’ll Learn

• What the research says about rejection in business 
• The different ways men and women view rejection
• ​What rejection means for sales
• How to deal with it in sales 

It turns out we humans are hardwired to feel the pain of rejection. But how we view rejection is not so equal. As aspiring side hustlers and entrepreneurs it’s important, dare we say essential, to understand the impact rejection has on us and our business. Is there a way to understand what sales rejection might be telling you about your business? Can rejection actually help you understand and attract your ideal customers? It turns out that once we understand what rejection is telling us we can use it to grow and measure our success. 
(3:39.28) Why women tend to deal with sales rejection differently than men.
(6:34.39) Pricing is not the major factor in customer rejection. Turns out this is.
(14:26.88) This is often the reason customers aren’t buying what you are selling.
(16:08.52) Where you don’t do this one thing, it all comes down to this in your customer’s mind.
(23:04.79) This simple hack could help you get more customers.
 Resources
This episode was supported by: Middle Kid Media
Logo Lite and Social Packages for $475 see our offers page for details
Additional Savings for Other Branding Services Coupon code SBL20 (Excludes Logo Lite & Social Packages)

Transcript

Lori: [00:00:00] You love your business and you want others to feel the same. After all, you put your heart and soul into creating it, and you wouldn't have done that if you didn't believe you had something great to offer. So if you are like many aspiring entrepreneurs, the selling,or rather the rejection part,-- or for some of us, it's a combination of both -- well, that part, it's not your favorite part of being in business. Stay tuned because today we are discussing how to attract your ideal customer. But in this episode, we're taking a totally different perspective. One we believe will help you reframe it from rejection to selection.

Announcer: [00:00:37] You're listening to the Sticky Brand Lab podcast, where time strapped professionals, like you learn how to create a business you love in as little as three hours a week.

Nola: [00:00:49] How's it going, SBLers. It's Nola and Lori here from Sticky Brand Lab. And today we're psyched to talk to you about the upside of customer rejection. But before we get into episode five, [00:01:00] make sure you're a subscriber to our podcast where we deliver tons of useful, practical and doable information. So you can take small steps toward creating, launching, and marketing your side gig with confidence.

And while you're at it, feel free to leave us a review. So other aspiring side hustlers can find our show. Okay. Then let's dive right in today's episode. Shall we. Lori, so how's business been?

Lori: [00:01:25] Funny, you should ask. It's like been a week of pins and needles. I read somewhere that mercury was in retrograde and I have no idea what that means, but I'm using to describe this week or the last couple of weeks.

I have four proposals out  waiting for responses from, uh, prospective clients. And. I have had four proposals out there in conversations for what is it going on a month
now?

Nola: [00:01:59] It seems like it [00:02:00] at various stages. I thought these were coming in already.

Lori: [00:02:05] I thought it was two. I had two yeses and then I didn't hear anything back.

I am in constant discussion with somebody else. It's just the part of being in business that is, is just really challenging and, and let's be honest, nobody likes rejection. A matter of fact, if I had to go out on the limb, I to put it bluntly, it sucks.

I can't stand rejection. I cringe. I run from rejection, which is sometimes I think that just running from rejection or hating it so bad makes, can make a person think that there's rejection where there really isn't.
Exactly.

Nola: [00:02:48] like being super sensitive, you know.

Lori: [00:02:50] Totally. Which is why we ended up naming the title of this show, what to do when a customer doesn't like what you're selling [00:03:00] rather than how to attract your ideal custome.  Which was the direction we were taking the episode. And then we changed our mind. And listeners you'll notice that we didn't say, or I didn't say.

If a customer doesn't like what you're selling, but when a customer doesn't like it. And that's for a very good reason, because logically we go into business, we know not everybody's going to like our products, our services, us, or whatever, whatever is there. We know it.

And that's the hard part. I mean, that's the part that people, especially starting out will cringe at.

It's like, they've got it. They know they've got what it takes to make, to make their business work. Or at least they really think they do, but it actually means getting out there. And that means some people may tell you no. And for a woman, especially, it can be really hard because. You know, myself included, we take it personally.

[00:04:00] And I don't like to go out there and just put myself out there and then be told no, because it makes, makes us think that, you know, maybe they don't like me. Maybe I'm just doing something wrong because you know, women have this need to please. And if they don't like what you have to offer then there, you're not pleasing somehow there's something you're doing wrong.

And so you might think, okay, maybe my price is too high. Maybe my product's not as good as I thought. I mean, although you can see that it's obviously perfect for them, but why can't they? So it must be you. So does, does this sound familiar?

Well, it does. And there's almost a, um, what's the phrasiology, uh, sense.
And when you first start out in business, the people that you end up selling to, or purchase your product or your service they're, what's called the low-hanging fruit. The people that, you know. Or once removed the acquaintances. So you've got your friends, your family, [00:05:00] then maybe your acquaintances, maybe a referral from a friend or family come in.

And then, and you feeling like I got this in the bag, this is what everybody wants. I stumbled across the best thing since sliced bread. And then you go out beyond that circle and you are now out in front of strangers or X amount of spaces removed from the person who made the referral and you start getting those no's and you're taking, you're just totally taken by surprise.

Nola: [00:05:32] Oh, that reminds me of gosh years ago when I was in this direct selling thing where I was doing those home parties, but it was really great experience. I have to say. I mean, they really, you know, they trained you well on sales and all kinds of stuff, but. And I really, I really knocked it out of the park.

When I started with my family and friends and they had their friends and people were just, and I used the formula and the formula worked. And after a while, I had to go beyond that [00:06:00] and I had to use new techniques to get more people beyond my family of friends and friends of friends and friends of their friends.

And after a while, I did not like it anymore because it meant more knows more rejection and it was not fun.

Lori: [00:06:16] anymore. No. And, and, you know, when you said earlier that women in particular, I have been, I just recently was listening to a Facebook live from a very successful woman who was talking about when she went out on her own for the very first time.

So  she had a portfolio that was extremely, rich, if you will. And she went out and started business on her own and she put together a proposal based on what now would become her her base price, but at the time was the highest price that she had ever done. And she talked about giving the proposal and meeting with the [00:07:00] client and he he's nodding his head.

He's in agreement. She's certain that she's got this in the bag. And he says, so what's this all going to cost? And she said, I couldn't even look him in the eye. She said, I could feel my myself sweat. And I, I looked down and I said the price. And he said, I can't do business with you. And she looked up and she's like, w why?

And he said, I don't believe that you believe that what you're selling me is worth that price. And she said she kept it together until she got in her car and then she cried and she said it was the worst feeling that she had ever had. And the person that she was actually talking to about that talked about her story.

So even super successful women out there who think that would never be me. Will find that they to have that moment when they're faced with this [00:08:00] one hurdle that you have to get up over, maybe it's, you're talking to somebody that's going to be your biggest client, or you just did your first price increase or it's your very first client, whatever that first one is and scary.

And you get that rejection and it's very  personal. Experience when, when you go through it. So I think there's just no better way than to rip this band-aid right off. We're not going to sugar coat this any further let's face the music. Uh, does anybody else have any other analogies you want in there, but as good as you are, or as good as your product is, or has great as your knowledge bases is, Everyone is not going to like what you're selling and everyone shouldn't like it. That's actually a good thing.

Nola: [00:08:59] And you [00:09:00] know what? Humans are not cookie cutter.

Lori: [00:09:04] Exactly. So, how are you going to grow your base, your customer base, expand out into new fields. If everybody looks exactly the same.

Nola: [00:09:14] and, and they're not. And if you do have something that everybody likes, well, first of all, that doesn't happen.

Lori: [00:09:21] You're not Santa Claus or Tinkerbell or the tooth fairy.

Nola: [00:09:27] And you don't want to be.

Lori: [00:09:28] No. You don't want to be.

Nola: [00:09:32] Why wouldn't you want to attract everybody? Why wouldn't you want to mass market?

Lori: [00:09:39] I think what ends up happening is when you're trying to be all things to all people, you are nothing to no one. Or to everyone, you know, when they say, if you stand for everything, you stand for nothing. It's kind of the same thing. If you're trying to sell to everybody, you don't have a person in [00:10:00] mind that you're trying to sell for. You don't understand your customer. That's what I would say. So there. But really, I think it's bigger than that.

And when we come back, we're going to focus on the why. Why it's important to know and understand who your customer is not.


People love our Sticky Brand logo. Many assume we've spent thousands of dollars on it. But the truth is it only looks like it cost a lot. Middle Kid Media makes getting customized professional brand elements, simple from one of a kind logos to marketing collateral and so much more Tish Middle Kid Media helps you stand out with your brand out. Podcast Listeners. Save 20% with coupon code SBL 20. Visit middlekidmedia.com to see her work.

Nola: [00:10:56] Come a little closer listeners, you are not going to want to miss these [00:11:00] podcasts launch deals. For limited time only. Tish has created a special offer on your choice of a logo design, or social media package to find out what's included in the super-sweet savings,
head on over to stickybrandlab.com/offers for details. Welcome back the Sticky Brand Lab, the podcast that lights a fire under your aspirations.


So you left me, hang in there. Why is it important to know and understand who your customer is, not?

Lori: [00:11:29] Because often you trade time for dollars. And what I mean by that is I had a client who, one of her offers was a free consultation. She spent more time with the people who were not going to purchase from her than she did from the people who did want to purchase. They already knew what she did. They already wanted her service. [00:12:00] So all they needed to do was know the expertise, the specifics about what she was offering.
Mm, but let me give you an example. My husband and I had a pedal board shop and paddle board was pretty new in South Florida.  It had come from the West coast in California. And in California, you have t-shirts for surfing. You kind of have wardrobe or apparel,  for paddleboarding, where it's very well known, but in Florida, that was all really still pretty new.
And I decided that paddleboard apparel or specifically t-shirts looked really different than. T-shirts for surfing. And so I wanted to create that. This idea I went in and I did market research. I worked with graphic artists to come up with some t-shirt designs. And my thought was that it would be white labeled.
[00:13:00] So individuals, like we were pedal board store owners could sell t-shirts with their specific location and their specific name of their business on it. Cool. And it was still really new for me. We were selling the t-shirts in our shop and doing all right. And so I saw a market potential there and there was a big trade show coming up.
I thought there was somebody up in the North part of the state. And I went to approach them about these t-shirts and I go through my spiel to sell them on how they can white label it. And I've got this portfolio that I'm ready to show them and they kind of pause and I pause. And now I'm wondering, I could feel the heat in my face.
As I was turning red, I was getting embarrassed. My armpits were, uh, getting really wet and that's when they shared with me that the wife was a graphic designer and that they were [00:14:00] doing their own T-shirts.

Nola: [00:14:01] Oh, ouch. And you didn't know this before you went to.

Lori: [00:14:09] Yeah. Oh,

Nola: [00:14:11] awkward.

Lori: [00:14:13] It was awkward and it got worse because it was the first one that I had approached at the start of the trade show.

Nola: [00:14:22] Like set the tone. Oh,

Lori: [00:14:26] exactly. And what I learned about it and a lot of other things since then, is that when you think you can sell to everybody, because you believe in what you're selling. I just went with this idea that was near and dear to my heart.
Hmm. And when you try to be all things to all people, it's bad for branding, it's bad for marketing and it ultimately is bad for sales. And the reason is because you haven't [00:15:00] figured out your, who, who is your ideal customer. And normally when we think about the, who, we tend to think about it from our own viewpoint.

Nola: [00:15:12] Yeah, we assume everybody kind of sees things from our perspective, but they is, it needs to be defined.

Lori: [00:15:20] Absolutely.

Nola: [00:15:21] You're who is not just anybody. Right.

Lori: [00:15:23] When somebody's first starting out. One of the most challenging and difficult things for them is to narrow down their niche. And the first thing after they get past the shock of you asking them to niche is the belief that their one product is made for everybody.

Nola: [00:15:46] Yeah. Why would they leave out a whole bunch of people that would benefit from this product. If you know, if they're narrowing their niche down to this little pool of people, they're looking to lose out.

Lori: [00:15:58] Exactly.

Nola: [00:15:59] Fear, [00:16:00] they think, yes.

Lori: [00:16:01] Fear is one of the big motivators. Scarcity there's not enough to go around for everybody.
So I have to get out there and get in front of everybody first. Or it comes down to price then. When you aren't marketing to your ideal, customer then price becomes the deciding point.

Nola: [00:16:23] Yeah. Because if you are like everybody else, then price is about the only differentiator. And that, that kind of leaves out your whole value. When your target is niched and you have a well-defined and you're a perfect match they're going to pay for somebody who gets them. Who gets

Lori: [00:16:40] them. Exactly. So let me illustrate this. Okay. I'm going to give you some groups of people and you tell me what they have in common

Nola: [00:16:52] I'm

Lori: [00:16:52] ready. Football player. Baseball player,

Nola: [00:16:55] uh, S S uniforms.
[00:17:00] Lori: [00:17:00] Sports, I thought that's where we're going.

Nola: [00:17:02] Yeah. Sports. Okay.
But those are players, I don't know. Right.

Lori: [00:17:07] Okay. What about vegetarian and carnivore?

Nola: [00:17:11] Uh, diametrically opposed.

Lori: [00:17:13] Concert goers, ballet lovers.

Nola: [00:17:17] Yes. And concert goer. That could be, that's a huge category in itself. Are we talking about classical concerts or mega death? That's actually a big, broad swath. It was going to say they probably all drink booze. But,
no idea. I guess I'm thinking concert goers. I'm thinking of a classical concert watching ballet and drinking wine or smoke, or maybe smoking cigars. I don't know. It's a stereotype, but see, that's all it is. It's not a who.

Lori: [00:17:48] Exactly. So, if you wouldn't expect that those distinct groups share the same preferences, the same tastes, the same passions, then why would [00:18:00] you want or expect everyone to like your art or your teaching style or your product, or even your approach?

Nola: [00:18:10] You wouldn't. They each appeal to something specific, something different. They have their own unique tastes and preferences.

Lori: [00:18:21] That is exactly the case. And when your messaging is right on target with your right ideal customer, it resonates. It's. Easy. They get it. They understand. You are speaking their language. Your vibe attracts your tribe in this sense, your message does it, does that for you.

Nola: [00:18:48] And so then you're operating less from scarcity and more from service and serving your

Lori: [00:18:55] tribe. And abundance because you go from being a small [00:19:00] fish in a big pond in which everybody is. To a big fish in a smaller pond. And one of the things to give you an idea, whatever your product or services, if you put that in for a Google search and you look at the top and you see how many searches that number is that are associated. That'll tell you how many millions of people or inquiries to that particular product or service are looked at on a daily basis that sit there. That'll give you an idea of just how big a niche is.

Nola: [00:19:43] Right. When you think that nobody would be interested, you would be floored to find out. Just do that.

Lori: [00:19:51] Yeah. That is an eye opener. So it's our hope. That is, are you our listener. Are taking all of [00:20:00] this in and recognizing that rejection gives you a lot of insight. And that may be the person who's rejecting you is telling you something about what their preferences or better yet what you should take into consideration for the selection.
Which is really about you aspiring entrepreneur. One of my first, actually it was my first side hustle was as a dating coach. And I had pretty much an equal number of men and women, which often surprised people. They thought I was either just as a dating coach. I'd either have more women because I was a woman.
Or I'd have more men because men were in need of finding a woman. But I actually had a clientele that was equally split and to help women get more [00:21:00] comfortable with their selection and knowing what their ideal person would look like, I would often encourage them to give a number for what they would not date below.
So on a scale of one to 10, I will not date somebody below a pick that number. And if you asked a man to do it, a matter of fact, there was not one man in any of the programs that I taught on that one gentlemen ever did not have a number in his head that he would not date below. Hmm. But women were always horrified that I would ask that of them.
They would often say, but what if he has a nice personality? And I would say, and in the morning when you wake up next to him, is that a face that you want to wake up next to? Because personality does make somebody appear more beautiful or more [00:22:00] handsome, but it won't carry you past not being attracted to him at all.

Nola: [00:22:05] Right. So you're basically saying, identify your target. Right?

Lori: [00:22:10] Exactly. And so I loved this about men. Men would say, I will not date a woman below often an eight, many times a seven and women would be horrified to hear this. But here's the thing. Men knew that a 10, well, she was a model. She was on the face of any magazine.
She was an actress. She was out of his league. So that left a nine or an eight. And for one person's eight is another person's five or six.

Nola: [00:22:48] Personal.

Lori: [00:22:49] Exactly. It is personal. And when you're in business and you know, what makes your ideal customer, you [00:23:00] also have an idea of what is not your ideal customer.

Nola: [00:23:04] That's right. You might have customers who are not your ideal customers who just want the lowest price they can get. They may have preferences or styles are totally not yours. They may have a set of values that, you know, do not match. Face it. There may be somebody that you just don't even like to work with.
And when you are selecting your ideal customer, you get to define that and you get to choose that. And by doing that, there's that vibe. That resonates with the right tribe.

Lori: [00:23:40] Exactly. So if you're looking for a great tip, you can start by just asking yourself why wouldn't this person be the right fit for my business?
Have somebody in mind, it could be somebody that already rejected your idea . Think about a person in your mind's eye, [00:24:00] and then you can start by thinking about, well, what would that customer's buying strategy be? And in general, when you think of the term strategy, what comes to mind?

Nola: [00:24:13] Plan of action. A reason, a purposeful plan of action. In other words, as opposed to it being something wrong with you, the reason for them saying, you know, not liking it, it's not about what's wrong with you. Think about them and from their perspective. What is their strategy or what is it about how they're approaching this business or this product or the service that would cause them to recognize that it's not a good fit.

Lori: [00:24:48] They might want always the lowest price. It doesn't matter what it is. They go for the lowest price. So quality is not as important as quantity.

Nola: [00:24:59] Yeah, that's one.

[00:25:00] Lori: [00:25:01] If it's too early in the buying cycle. So this is somebody who doesn't really know, like what therapeutic massages or a specific type of massage.

Nola: [00:25:14] Oh yeah. There's a Swedish physical therapy.
I have no

Lori: [00:25:17] idea.

Nola: [00:25:19] But you're right. Physical therapy. Yeah.

Lori: [00:25:20] If they haven't had a massage. Then they're way up at the top. And that might not be something that they would enjoy. The thought they are looking at it from a different perspective.

Nola: [00:25:33] There's those who like, think about skincare. There are those who only want the organic, the all the appropriate branding and certifications on there to know that it's, you know, a good for the planet. And then there are others who just want to get the cheapest thing they can because they're on a budget and they need to look good for whatever reason. So, you know, people have their, have their values and have their reasons. [00:26:00] But they do not definitely fall in the same bucket.

Lori: [00:26:04] And I think sharing values is a great place to start.

Nola: [00:26:10] I agree.

Lori: [00:26:12] So when you're thinking of who your ideal customer is not, you often won't share the similar values. And that is very different way to look at a customer than typically what people hear. If you are, have been in business, you often will hear about customer personas, demographics.
Exactly. Focused on the demographics, focus on the gender, focus on a specific area, but, um, income level, education level, all those demographics.

Nola: [00:26:49] Those are all, Okay. But when you think about the value as being the umbrella.


Lori: [00:26:57] Exactly. So somebody who's, who [00:27:00] doesn't share your values and we're not talking political necessarily here, but we're really talking about the core. And you kind of hit on that when you were talking about somebody who may be more conscientious about what goes on their skin or in their body or the harm it does on the environment. When you start off looking for similar values, I think you  have a much better idea of who is likely to reject you and who is likely to select you and vice versa.

Nola: [00:27:38] Because when you have customers  that are in your niche that are in your tribe. And they like what you've got and you share the same values. They're the ones that are going to root for you. They are the ones that you can even select. They're going to be the ones that are going to be giving you good reviews. They're the ones that are going to be paying the bills on time.
They're the [00:28:00] ones that are going to want you on their side. And they will also be the ones that aren't going to, you know, try to eack, whatever they can out. They're going to be respectful of your time and your own resources. Yeah. That's your ideal client.
Lori: [00:28:13] All of those things. Understands that importance. That you bring to the table and you can use the question of who is the right customer for my business, based on we share the similar values and who wouldn't be the right fit for my business. And it reduces trading time for dollars. Because people who get your message. Who understand where you're coming from, are much faster, much easier to sell than people who don't.

Nola: [00:28:47] Do you have questions about who's the right or wrong customer for your business? Go to our website, stickybrandlab.com and take advantage of our podcast launch specials on all of our consulting services.

Lori: [00:28:58] Well, we've come to the [00:29:00] end of our time together in episode five. And remember, there's a time to be bold. There's a time to be brave. This is your time listener.
Until next time. Bye!

​Nola: [00:29:16] How's it going? SBLers it's Nola and Lori here from Sticky Brand Lab. And today we're psyched to talk to you about the upside of customer…