Successfully Launch A Side Business Using The Power Of Positive Intelligence - #52

Show Notes

Mastering the mind game of entrepreneurship is simpler than you think.
In this episode Lori Vajda and Nola Boea sit down with entrepreneur and Certified Professional Coach, Barbara Fonti, to get help for aspiring side business owners who are ready to start their side business. Learn how to identify and quiet your particular ‘saboteur’ voice. That enemy of the mind guilty of holding you back. Learn how with a little practice, you can ignite the ‘sage’ voice from within

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In This Episode You’ll Learn 

• Discover how to conquer your self-sabotaging thoughts by mastering your thinking so you find  happiness and success
• How your thinking can be the root of what is holding you back from creating the impact, income, and reinvention you dream about.
• Why shifting your thinking from self-sabotage to optimal performance can help you move forward with your entrepreneurial goals.
• Using these game-changing tools, and strategies you can learn how to control and convert negative thoughts into improved performance professionally and personally.

Our entrepreneurial mind isn’t always working in our best interest. As a matter of fact, research shows that only 20% of people achieve anything close to their true potential. As Nola and Lori discovered in this episode, developing the skills associated with positive intelligence can actually help you gain more control over your mind so it favorably responds to entrepreneurial challenges. 

(4:30:46) How to identifying the things you may unknowingly be doing to self-sabotage your success and that might be the reasons why we're not at the level that you could be. 

(7:22:45) Recognizing the behaviors and thoughts at that pivotal moment when our positive thinking changes to doubt and how to get back on the right track.

(10:06.75) The 3 things you need to do to achieve your entrepreneurial full potential. 

(12:03.36) The internal feeling of fear, and for women in particular, unusually it is a subconscious thought that can often be the result of a particular saboteur. Here are 3 tips for identifying and utilizing the more powerful, productive parts of our brain.

(14:49.80) Moving from Darth Vader to Yoda. How to turn stress into resiliency.

(23:49.13) Some people use negative emotion as a motivator, but does it work as well as positive emotion?

Resources 
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This episode was supported by: Be-YOU-nique

Barbara on episode #22 Sales Tips for Solopreneurs Who Don't Like to Sell on: Apple Podcast Spotify Google Podcast  Sticher

Barbara Fonti - Big Dream Executive Coaching 

Positive Quotient Assessment Link

Saboteur Assessment Link

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Transcript

​[00:00:00] Lori: Perhaps you're listening to this podcast right now with the goal to start a side business, yet you quietly worry and wonder if you actually have what it takes to make it a reality. Well, listeners, if you're tired of being an entrepreneurial benchwarmer and are ready to get your head and heart in the game of business, stick around because in today's show, we're going to explore ways you can train your mind, so it actually serves you rather than sabotages you. And all it takes is a little positive intelligence.

[00:00:33] Announcer: You're listening to the Sticky Brand Lab podcast, where time-strapped professionals like you, learn how to create a business you love in as little as three hours a week.

[00:00:46] Nola: Hello, there. We're Nola and Lori, and we'd like to welcome you, or welcome you back, to our podcast that's all about helping you successfully and quickly launch a profitable side business and personal brand you're excited about. Today, we've got an amazing expert on the show who's going to help us get mentally fit so we can handle life's challenges without mental stress or negative emotions. But before we get started, if you haven't already, please consider subscribing to our podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, Audible, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Not only do we love getting new subscribers, but it gives us a chance to help you because each week we come out with new content that's designed so you can hit the ground running and be the most inspiring magnetic, confident, powerful business owner ever.

[00:01:34] Lori: Are you ready to tame that hypercritical voice in your head that pops up when faced with challenges? You know the one. The self-defeating dragon saboteur that keeps you from stepping out of your comfort zone and going all in on your dreams. Well, listeners, you've come to the right place. We would like to introduce you to Barbara Fonti. Barbara is an entrepreneur, certified professional coach and sought-after trainer and speaker. Through her company, Big Dream Executive Coaching, Barbara helps people achieve their goals so they can live the life they always wanted to live. We first introduced you to Barbara on Episode 23, where we talked about Sales Tips for Solopreneurs, Who Don't Like to Sell. And that was an awesome episode.

[00:02:18] Nola: Yes, it was.

[00:02:19] Lori: We're so excited to have Barbara back to talk about something that she talked about briefly in that episode. And that's her subject matter expertise on positive intelligence. Positive intelligence is the ability to master every challenge with more ease and less stress. It's a framework used in the business world to help people live each day in peak performance and reach their true potential. It helps us identify hidden behaviors that are sabotaging our wellbeing and success, and it shows us how to activate the parts of our brain that are responsible for happiness and higher productivity. Barbara Fante is a pioneer in the field of positive intelligence. She shows people how they can activate the parts of their brain that deliver greater results and increase their happiness. And we're so excited Barbara, to have you back.

[00:03:15] Barbara: Ooh, so excited to be here.

[00:03:21] Nola: Yes. Here. You're so much fun to have around, especially on our podcast. And the last podcast of the last time we saw you, we were just so intrigued. We so wanted to go down the rabbit trail of positive intelligence, which is why we're here. So, as an executive coach and a sales consultant, what is it that led you to first get involved with positive intelligence and how is it that you can make the statement that you are a pioneer in the field?

[00:03:46] Barbara: Well, positive intelligence can pull you out of that rabbit hole. So, you know, for me, I've just been a lifelong learner, like so many people I'm like both of you. And I actually was introduced to positive intelligence. I was taking this leadership coaching class at Harvard University, of all places, and professor there was talking about it and she made a statement and there were a lot of people there in leadership positions from like fortune 100 companies. And she said, listen, I have to share something with you. And what she shared was that the research shows that only 20% of individuals and work teams are working to their full potential. Only 20%. So we were like, wait a second. We all must be in that 20%.

[00:04:27] Lori: After all you're there in the class.

[00:04:30] Barbara: But of course, we know that's not necessarily the case. And so she started talking about positive intelligence and which there was a synthesis of all kinds of research to come up with these realities of things. And so she basically gave us the opportunity to participate in a quick self-assessment online. And everybody went out and did their own assessment, which gave you an idea of where you showed up on that spectrum of are you really reaching your full potential. And also identified the things that we do to self-sabotage our success that might be the reasons why we're not at the level that we could be. That our potential gets us. So, of course we were all intrigued. Next day, we went back to class and she talked all about this research that was done by a gentleman by the name of Shirzad Chamine, who wrote a best-selling book called positive intelligence.

Hmm. So I said, oh, I have to read this book. So on my way back, cause I live in New York, so on my way back from Massachusetts to New York, I downloaded the book, started listening to it. Immediately, it gave me these ahas and it totally changed my life for the better and change the people that I work with for the better.

The book itself, basically, pulls together research from over a half a million people, including business owners and top CEOs, people all over the globe. And what they looked at with this was they want to know why. Why are there some people that go through life with more ease and flow? That they can weather every challenge with more resilience? That they reached their goals or exceed their goals or become great leaders and are happy. I say that and. So how come there's some people that are like this and they're thriving, and then there are others of us that can struggle? And what can we learn from that? What can we learn from those people, and what can we do about it to put ourselves in that thriving position in going through the journey of our life, in what we call peak performance, which is being happy and working and living to your potential?

And so the framework for positive intelligence was created and I started using it for myself, for my family, for my friends, everybody. I said, I have to tell the world about this. And I have to get in touch with this man who put all of this research together and created this framework. I reached out and I said, look, I do public speaking. And the world has to hear about this because it can be so impactful. And as it turns out, he was in the process of creating this six-week program to change people's brains. So, teach people how they can rewire their brain. And he wanted to bring it out to the coaching community and to target some people to take this and help him spread this all over the world.

And so, I became one of his pioneer coaches and I belong to a group of coaches throughout the world that use this in our practice. And we are in the process of getting more and more people exposed to this incredible methodology.

[00:07:19] Nola: Oh, my goodness. That is a great story.

[00:07:22] Lori: How can entrepreneurs, or anybody, apply positive intelligence to starting or growing their business or going after that ideal client or making that first pitch? What's a step or something that gets you on the path? And maybe, actually, what comes prior to that? You're at the crossroads. A lot of times we don't even recognize that we're even setting ourselves up to not achieve the goal or to talk ourselves out of it. So, how do you know that you're at that pivotal crossroad? And what can you do if you're hesitant to make the leap?

[00:07:57] Barbara: Yeah, that's a great question. I love that we're talking about this because we know so much about being the captain of your own ship, and being the person that creates your own destiny, is what's going on in your head. Consciously or subconsciously. And most of it is subconscious, isn't it? And so, we tend to sabotage things. We may say, okay, listen, I'm going to do some work and figure out what my purpose is or set up my goals. But then fear sets in like really quickly, when we want to do these things, all of a sudden, there's this fear factor, and we can talk ourselves out of it pretty quickly, whether we realize it or not.

Because all of a sudden, now we're looking for all the dangers. All of these fears get in the way. And that's a perfect example of how we self-sabotage. And the reality of entrepreneurship, which is such an amazing, amazing journey. And it's important to know that one of the things that makes you successful as an entrepreneur, that I know both of, you know, is our ability to deal with uncertainty. Because as humans, we like to know for sure everything, and as women in particular, we want to know the outcome of things. And we tend to beat ourselves up also. And so that internal voice and that internal what we call the internal judge, is a real saboteur. That is like the master saboteur. And so, in the framework of positive intelligence, the first thing you can do is start looking for your internal saboteurs and labeling them so that you can intercept them.

Okay. So here's the thing. Even the best top CEOs in the world have saboteurs. They have those same voices that say, I don't know if I'm good enough. They call imposter syndrome now. But the difference is, how loud is that voice? How can we quiet that voice so we can move on so that we can take that action. Take that messy action. Life doesn't have to be perfect to take action. And as an entrepreneur, it’s never going to be perfect, but it's important to take aim and shoot and then adjust. Right? So

[00:09:46] Lori: I like that. Aim, shoot, and then adjust.

[00:09:51] Barbara: Choose a target, which doesn't have to be perfect. You shoot at it. And then you learn something from that and adjust accordingly. And as we say, right, in the entrepreneurial world, sometimes you've got to build the plane while you're flying it. And that's okay. That's what this journey is all about. And for women in particular, you know, we tend to have to juggle a lot of things. So, we'd like things organized and we like to make sure we're going to know again, what the outcome is and everything has to be neat and tidy. In the entrepreneur space, it's not necessarily going to be neat and tidy and that's okay. And when you feel that, instead of running away from it, know that you're doing the right thing.

In positive intelligence, to really get what you want, to work and live and grow your business to your full potential, to its full potential, and to be happy, there are three things to do:

Number one is look for those saboteurs. And that is probably the most important first step. And just kind of a little backstory on that. Not to go too deep into physiology and neuroscience and so forth. But as human beings, there is a part of our brain that is responsible for our survival. Some people call it the survival brain, your survival instinct. And it was designed to keep the human species alive. Now that was great when we roamed the earth thousands of years ago, we lived among predators in the woods. Assume the worst. Look for the negative. That's what part of our brain is designed to do. And run away from the negative. And so discomfort can be seen as a threat.

[00:11:17] Lori: Oh,

[00:11:19] Barbara: Right? So we go, this feels uncomfortable. I got to get away from it.

[00:11:22] Lori: Danger isn't always the case when you're starting something new or going after a promotion or starting a side business.

[00:11:30] Barbara: That's right. But we could perceive it as a danger. So, that part of your brain is looking for the danger and telling you get away from that. And it's important to know that that judge is a liar. Those perceptions are not accurate. And the problem when it comes to applying it to your business, it's looking and it's playing on our fears. "Be careful. Somebody might not like you, and that could wreck you and you're not going to survive." But that's not true. You're going to survive. Don't trust those judges consciously or subconsciously. And so much of this for women in particular is subconscious. Right? I mean, think about it when we grow up. We're told we should look a certain way. We should be a certain way. And images on television and on digitally, you know, they're screwing with us. Men don't suffer from that, or certainly not to that same degree as women do.

And it's not only external, it's internal. So, all of this noise that makes us hesitant. That's your internal judge. So, the first thing you can do is look for it. If you're not taking action and you're beating yourself up, it's probably because of your saboteurs. And the judge is the first culprit on that. So, what can you do? Well, I know some people, they give their judge a name. We may have talked about this in the past where I have a friend, she's a coach and she calls her inner judge, her inner mean, girl, I have a gentleman. I know he calls his inner judge Darth Vader. Just to know that that is not you, those, those things that you're hearing, that's not you, that's the judge. So when you hear that, say, there goes that judge again.

[00:13:00] Nola: Perfect.

[00:13:01] Barbara: You know, so that's number one. So, look for that saboteur and other saboteurs and quiet that down, know that that's something external, it's part of your primitive brain. And it's not going to tell you the truth.

[00:13:12] Lori: Okay.

[00:13:12] Barbara: Okay. Yeah. Give it a name and label it. Once you label it, by the way, it starts reducing its power over you. So that's why we say recognize and label it. Because now that voice gets a little quieter. We put it in a little more perspective. So that's really, really important, you know? So, we want to turn that off. Now, what do we want to turn on? The second thing we want to do is we want to light up and start utilizing more fully the more powerful, productive parts of our brain that are responsible for making us happy and being better problem solvers. And taking clear, laser-focused action on the things that we know will serve us and will serve our business. So that's other parts of our brain. And it's the part of brain that releases dopamine, which is a nice little chemical, makes us feel great. Woo, and lights up our learning centers and so much more.

And the more that we practice being in that part of our brain, we call it the Sage brain. The more it's going to be our go-to. It becomes a habit. So, here's one thing people can do to start strengthening what we call the Sage brain. The part of the brain is going to put you in peak performance. We know life throws us curve balls. And even in our business, we make these plans and sort of anticipate in our brain how this is going to play out. But the truth about life is that there are twists and turns in the road and that's okay. That can actually serve us in the long run. But when they happen, we tend to go, oh no, how am I going to deal with this? This is very stressful. I don't know what to do or this didn't go the way I thought and all these kinds of things. Right? And we feel that pain, but we want to change that. We want to be resilient and we want to move into an area that's going to serve us better.

So, one of the things very, very simple to retrain your brain, is to ask yourself a couple of questions that can be really helpful in turning on those parts of the brain. And by the way, we're talking about business, but this applies to everything. So, now you have to ask yourself a question. What are three possible positive outcomes that could come of this seemingly bad situation? Now, if you've got a strong judge be prepared, because when you ask a question like that, when you're in the state of stress and annoyance or frustration, the judge is going to come back and tell you that was the stupidest question you ever asked yourself. Like, there's nothing good that could come of this. I'm tired now I've got to clean up the poop from the dog and that's okay. Ask it again and ask it again and ask it again. First of all, you might come up with some really great things you hadn't considered, especially when it comes to business. Because sometimes things that we think are going to be crappy, turned out to be great. Right? But more importantly, the act of asking yourself that question moves your circuitry in your brain, moves your brain from a state of being in saboteur mode, to being in Sage mode, to move into those productive centers. Now, all of a sudden you're turning on your learning centers. Does that make sense?

[00:15:58] Lori: That's great. Yeah, it does.

[00:16:00] Nola: You've gone from Darth Vader to Yoda.

[00:16:02] Barbara: Yeah. Or mean girl to cheerleader, right? So, it's just that we know that there's something called neuroplasticity, which means that, you know, in the old days we used to think by the time you're 25, you're hardwired and you can't teach an old dog new tricks. And now we know that's not true. That you can. You can open up new pathways and make them your go-to. So the more that you do that, the better it is. So, what are three possible positive outcomes? And there is another question that you can ask yourself. That's similar to that, that I know some people prefer. And that is, what is the gift or the opportunity in this situation?

[00:16:34] Lori: That's awesome.

[00:16:35] Barbara: Let me give you an example.

[00:16:36] Lori: Okay. Okay.

[00:16:37] Barbara: So I said, okay. There was a program that I wanted to promote. And I knew who my niche is. You know, I, I deal with women in business, and I found this women's business organization. I said, oh my goodness. I looked at their membership. I said, these are the people that I want to be in front of, because I know that what I have to offer can really impact them. And if they hear about it, they're going to want it. Okay. So they had this great breakfast meeting. It was cold, which I don't really like, but okay, I'll get up early. I'll put those high heels on and get out the door and I'll weather the weather and I'll get there. And I made up flyers to put out, cause they said, you could do this, blah, blah, blah. I was so excited.

I get there. They said, you know, we changed our format. And you can't give out those flyers. Only some people that had pre sponsored did it. and I was so disappointed. I got in the car and I was driving home and I said, what are three possible positive outcomes that come from this?

And of course, I'm like, I can't think of anything. I was at a red light and that's normal. Right? But then I asked again, you know, calm down and I was thinking about it. Well, okay. So, because I couldn't get up and speak about this, I ended up having to sit at this table and I met some nice women there. And some of them said they were looking for speakers for their organizations, blah, blah, blah.

And I was like, well, these things may never come out. But by the came, come to fruition with the people I was sitting with, but at least I felt better by the time I walked in the door, took off my high heels and everything. And as it turned out, it opened up something else to me, from the people that I was sitting with, even better opportunity, even greater opportunity. So, like, you never know, right?

[00:18:06] Nola: There's a saying that I tend to recite to myself and that is, never curse your inconvenience.

[00:18:12] Barbara: Ooh.

[00:18:13] Nola: Because sometimes what you think is a curse is actually a blessing.

[00:18:19] Barbara: Yeah. And when it happens, you know, we can get really frustrated and stay in that frustration and we don't want to stay in that frustration. It's just about training the brain to look on the positive side and to open up other areas of your brain that are really going to put you in peak performance and tip top of your game. So that's the second thing.

[00:18:37] Lori: So, step number three is?

[00:18:39] Barbara: Step number three. Let go.

[00:18:42] Nola: Whoa. I knew...I don’t, I, I, I, I'm not sure about that.

[00:18:47] Lori: Let that replay over and over and over in my head.

[00:18:50] Nola: I was with you until then.

[00:18:52] Barbara: You know, I had a feeling. That's why I paused. I don't know how they're going to receive this. So, yeah.

[00:18:59] Nola: Alright. Throw it at me.

[00:19:01] Barbara: Okay. It almost is like, reminds me of some Buddhist teachings, you know, where they say, the key to happiness is not being tied to the outcome of anything. We're not to be too tied to the outcome of anything. Right? Do the best you can, and then let go. So that sounds easier said than done. Doesn't it?

[00:19:18] Nola: Do the best you can, and then let go.

[00:19:20] Barbara: And then let go. Right? Don't be too tied. So, here's the thing. Going back to the judge, and then I'll give you some ideas of how to sort of train ourselves to do that.

[00:19:30] Nola: Okay.

[00:19:30] Barbara: So, there is, there's a great story. It's called The Stallion Story. So, there's this farmer and he has this stallion and he goes to like the local country fair and his stallion wins first place. And the people in the town come to the farmer and they're like, wow, that's incredible. You must be so excited. Your stallion came in first place. And to, with that, the farmer turns to them and says, Well, who knows what is good or bad? And they're like, what a bizarre reaction that is. Anyway, the next day news of this great, incredible stallion travels to the next town. And there are some bad guys in the next town that say, we want that stallion. So they sneak over at nighttime and they steal the stallion. And now the stallion is stolen. Now the townspeople go back to the farmer and say, oh, that's terrible. You must be so upset. And with that, the farmer says, well, who knows what is good or bad? And again, they're like scratching their head and they leave. But that Stanley was so smart, he figured out a way to get out of the barn at the bad guy's house. And he found his way back to the farmer and he brought some other horses with him. So now the townspeople are like, wow, what a great, good fortune. And you know what the farmer said, right? Who knows what is good or bad? And the story goes on and on. The farmer's son rides the horse and he gets thrown and he breaks his legs. Oh, that's bad. Who knows? Because now there's a war that breaks out. And now the government is coming to the town and looking for people to recruit to fight in the war, but the farmer's son is spared that because he's got broken legs. So it just goes with the fact that who knows what is good or bad? We in our house, that's what we say all the time. Who knows what is good or bad? Who knows what? It just is. Things happen, but we assign judgment to them. And we assign expectation to that. And that often wrecks with our well-being and it wrecks with our performance and our ability to achieve the things we want to achieve. Does that make sense?

[00:21:18] Lori: It sure does. I mean, I think about the fact that when you decide that you're going to start a business, so your first hurdle is talking yourself out of starting it. You get started on it and the learning curve on the things that you didn't even know, you needed to learn, can be so steep. And if you are an older, wiser, professional person getting started, you feel far more inadequate than if you're just coming out of college and starting something new.

[00:21:49] Barbara: Oh yes. There's a different way of doing business and marketing, as we know, and all of these different things that, for some of us, we thought starting a business meant putting out a shingle somewhere in a brick-and-mortar storefront. And so, navigating the whole technology world can be a bit challenging and sometimes can be frustrating if we allow it to be.

[00:22:10] Nola: Right.

[00:22:11] Barbara: Sometimes those times where we can't seem to learn it as quickly as like our kids or grandkids, that can seem frustrating, but that's okay. We never know some of the gifts that are going to come as a result of that.

[00:22:22] Lori: One of the best pieces of advice I got on hitting that learning curve is to step into it with a child's mind of learning.

[00:22:31] Barbara: I love that.

[00:22:32] Lori: Because a child's mind doesn't give it a negative critique. They're just curious.

[00:22:38] Barbara: Yes.

[00:22:39] Nola: Well, you know, as entrepreneurs, even if you do try something, let's say you decide to try your hand at like making a lead gen or doing a webinar and you have set a goal and let's say you fail miserably. Something, another motto I say to myself is, there are no mistakes. There are only lessons learned. What did I learn from that? Okay. Maybe I didn't get all the followers. Maybe I didn't get the emails or maybe I didn't get the customers that I expected. But what can I learn from that experience? I've learned what does work?

I've learned what doesn't work. Now? What is it, they said about Edison?
[00:23:14] Lori: 1099, or uh, 999 ways to build a light bulb. And it was the thousands. went something like that,

[00:23:20] Nola: He was like, aren't you disappointed? You know, are you frustrated that you failed almost a thousand times? He's like, I didn't fail a thousand times, I just learned 999 ways not to build a light bulb.

[00:23:31] Barbara: That's right.

[00:23:31] Nola: I know it's easier said than done. It really is, but you're giving really good mental exercises to kind of, like you said, pull you out of that rabbit hole.

[00:23:42] Barbara: Yes. And in doing so, you get motivated, not by negative emotion, but by positive emotion. Because so many people live their lives motivated by negative, right? Fear and stress and worry and shame. Shame about something about ourselves or something. And that's not a way to live. We want to be motivated by positive emotion, like curiosity. Like self-empathy. You know, the positive side. Let's not beat ourselves up in the process. As entrepreneurs, we need to manage our energy and our discomfort and uncertainty. And so, if we can take the energy out of all this negative stuff, we can feel lighter, we can maneuver through this journey with more ease and be happier. And that's what it's all about, isn't it?

[00:24:27] Nola: Yes, indeed. I understand, Barbara, that you have a resource that listeners could use. Want to tell us about that?

[00:24:38] Barbara: Absolutely. And I'm going to give you the link. Through Positive Intelligence, there are two assessments that anybody can take. And so, there are two things that are really, really helpful. One is what they call your Positive Quotient Assessment, which is the percentage of time your brain is acting as your friend versus as your enemy.

[00:24:58] Nola: Oh, really?

[00:24:59] Lori: Yeah. I’m going to take that one.

[00:25:01] Nola: I'm going to take that one, too.

[00:25:04] Barbara: So, in other words, how strong are you in that sabotage your brain, right? So that's your PQ Assessment. And then the other one is your Saboteur Assessment, and I absolutely, absolutely love this, and I think everybody should take this assessment because what it's going to do, is it's going to give you results that show you what patterns of thinking and acting are sabotaging your success.

And we talked about the judge, it was just one of them, but there are nine others. The research shows that there are nine distinct types of patterns and we don't all have all nine of them, but we all have some of them. And some of them are stronger than others. So that could be like being a people pleaser, for example. Well, you know, when you take them to a certain degree, it can mess with you. You're so worried about people liking you. Let's look at this in a business perspective,

[00:25:55] Nola: it's a big deal.

[00:25:56] Barbara: If you're so hooked on people liking you, you might be hesitant to put a video out there. You might get into that whole stickler thing. It's gotta be perfect. I can't take messy action. You have to take messy action as an entrepreneur. So, we're going to show you some other patterns that you didn't think--you're laughing, really.

[00:26:12] Nola: I am.

[00:26:13] Lori: Because we had a conversation about this.

[00:26:22] Barbara: So were you thinking that it was a good thing or a bad thing to be a people pleaser?

[00:26:26] Lori: Nola, video.

[00:26:28] Nola: The video it's like, I don't want to put that out there and have people I know, like knowing what I'm thinking like that.

[00:26:37] Barbara: Okay. And then what happens if they know that? [Silence.] Exactly. And yet we get into that energy of fear for what? What's the purpose? And oh, I want to share with everyone one other thing, in particular for women. People who are very judgy, beat themselves up even more than everybody else. So the way that they judge everybody has nothing to do with everybody else and everything to do with what they're thinking about themselves. If I walk into a room and somebody is looking at me up and down like that, I feel sorry for them.

[00:27:06] Nola: It really allows you to feel compassion instead of embarrassment.

[00:27:11] Barbara: Yeah. Instead of shame. Feel you feel compassion for them. And empathy.

[00:27:16] Lori: That's a great tip.

[00:27:17] Barbara: And that brings you into that better part of your brain. So, exercising empathy for yourself and others. Don't judge yourself. Don't judge others. Don't judge your situation. Because you don't know. I know again, easier said than done. Got to keep practicing.

[00:27:31] Nola: I know

[00:27:31] Lori: I’m going to tape Barbara now, and the next time my saboteur comes up, Barbara's voice is going to come up as my Sage.

[00:27:38] Nola: That's great. That's great.

[00:27:39] Barbara: Yeah. Well, the more we practice it, we have this thing with positive. We have a six-week program and we have an app that goes with it. And for people that do the program, every morning, they get what's called a Focus of the Day. I call it the Fuel of the Day. And it's just like a two to three minute, just piece of information, things to focus on in the day, that'll keep you centered, and in that Sage part of your brain. And then throughout the day, you get little notifications of little things to challenge your day to stay in that Sage perspective. So, it might be about self-empathy one day. But the reason we do it that way is because that repetition is what builds those muscles. And that's why we call it mental fitness.

[00:28:17] Nola: Oh, and your six-week mental fitness program also applies as positive intelligence.

[00:28:24] Barbara: Yes. We use positive intelligence to build those Sage muscles.

[00:28:28] Lori: So, Barbara, how can people learn more about that? Because that sounds phenomenal.

[00:28:33] Barbara: Yeah, it's really great. It's fun. So, the easiest thing to do is just go to my website. I have a lot of information on there about the mental fitness program and positive intelligence. And just go to bigdreamexecutivecoaching.com and you can look for the mental fitness program and learn all about it. And on those assessments also, when you take those assessments and it shows you what the saboteurs are, anybody has any questions. If you want to dive in deeper, there are ways of doing that.

[00:29:00] Nola: Barbara, thank you so much for being our guest and teaching us more about positive intelligence. I've actually been psyched to learn more about that ever since our last episode, which seems like forever ago, but it wasn't that long ago. And thank you listeners for tuning into this episode. We hope it makes all the difference in you getting your side business started in a positive way so that you can create your best and most exciting life. And listeners, you can also get Barbara's resource the link to the assessments and more information about her mental fitness program, by visiting our website, stickybrandlab.com and go to the Podcast Freebies section under the Resources tab.

So, if you found the information shared here today helpful, please let us know by posting here, where you're listening, or on our Facebook page. And this way we can learn all about your business goals and your ideas, as well as send you some love, encouragement, and congratulate you on the amazing and courageous decision you've made.

[00:30:01] Lori: Be sure to come back next Tuesday and every Tuesday for another informative, inspiring and motivating episode. And remember. Actions create results. So, tap into your desire to create a business and brand you love by taking 1% action every day. Small steps, big effects.

[00:30:21] Nola: Do you have questions about creating a personal brand, side hustle or small business? Sign up for one of our clarity sessions. For more information, contact us at stickybrandlab.com/contact.

[OUT-TAKE]

[00:30:35] Lori: As well as our well, and... let me pick my tongue up, put it back in...