#64 - Entrepreneur: Self-Care Is The Key To Your Health, Wellbeing & Success.

Show Notes

As an entrepreneur it’s easy to focus on the needs of your business while ignoring your own physical, mental and emotional wellbeing. After all, who else is going to make your business a success? In this episode Lori Vajda and Nola Boea explore how intuitive self care helps you feel healthy, relaxed and better equipped to take on challenges of life and work. It turns out, prioritizing your self care needs may be the key to unlocking business success. ​

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In This Episode You’ll Learn 

• Working your day job while trying to build your side business can easily lead to burnout, stress, health problems and mental fatigue.
• As an entrepreneur, stress is going to play a role in your life. Learning strategies to deal with it is very important.
• Intuitive self care helps entrepreneurs build their business with less stress.
• Easy self-care strategies for busy entrepreneurs. 

​Key points Nola and Lori are sharing in this episode:

(3:41:37) One reason we ignore the early signs of stress, overwhelm and anger is because we believe these emotions acceptable and part of building a successful business.  

(6:40:31) What is intuitive self care and how does it work in helping to boost your emotional wellbeing?

(14:28.83) Five free and simple suggestions for reducing.

Resources 

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Transcript

[00:00:00] Lori: If you're like us, you may be trying to wrap up, no pun intended, the end of the year deadlines for clients and work as well as getting your holiday gift spot and preparing for celebrations. Even if it wasn't the end of the year, it's easy for daily life and work to become overly demanding and challenging. Stay tuned listeners because this episode is for anyone feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, or stressed, and in need of a little self-care.
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[00:00:30] Announcer: You're listening to the Sticky Brand Lab podcast, where time strapped professionals, like you learn how to create a business you love in as little as three hours a week.

[00:00:43] Nola: Whether you work from home, in an office or combination of both, trying to manage daily life, as well as challenging situations, can easily use up your emotional resources as you try to cope. When this happens, your sense of wellbeing and capacity to care for yourself and others becomes greatly diminished. That's often not until we feel so depleted that we become aware of just how physically, emotionally and mentally burned out, fatigued, and stressed we really are. It turns out the solution may be in understanding the transformative effects of intuitive self-care. But before we share what self-care is and isn't, as well as a few easy-to-do strategies for incorporating it into your daily life, welcome to Sticky Brand Lab, the podcast where we share essential business tools, shortcuts, and advice from leading entrepreneurs, industry experts and our own real-world experience. So you can launch your small business quickly and without breaking the bank or feeling overwhelmed because the only thing more empowering than knowledge is being able to take confident decisive action.

[00:01:44] Lori: While a certain amount of stress in life can be necessary and even beneficial in some situations, and who here raise your hand can relate to pushing a deadline to the last minute and relying on that surge of adrenaline to help us get us through and get it done on time.

[00:02:00] Nola: I can certainly relate.

[00:02:01] Lori: Absolutely. I have used that technique a lot and gotten good results, but doing it habitually can cause problems on our body. And when everyday events of work, client and personal life become overly stressful, and you add the holidays on top of it, life can feel unmanageable. Nola, when you're stressed, do you know what it feels like in your body to feel stress?

[00:02:28] Nola: I probably don't think about it at the time, but I guess if I think back, yeah, usually I'm also not just feeling stressed, I'm feeling super exhausted. Usually those go hand-in-hand. When I'm super exhausted, I'm also super cranky. So yeah. I'm just not pleasant.

[00:02:43] Lori: You know, I know for myself, as you were talking about this I was thinking, at low levels, I couldn't tell you that I would recognize stress or anxiousness or even fatigue for that matter. I would, when I'm at my max capacity. However, I would only recognize it in hindsight.
Good point.

 One of the telltale signs at the high level is I get angry quickly and I have a sharpness to my tone, and I can then see somebody's reaction to something that seemed very small or minor. And I'm thinking, why are you frowning? And then I'm also at the same time aware of how my voice sounded, as I said, what I said.

[00:03:25] Nola: Well, that's very self-aware of you.

[00:03:27] Lori: Thank you.

[00:03:29] Nola: For many of us, and I think this is especially true for women, we may feel stressed, anxious, overwhelmed, angry, or feeling low and be unaware, like you had said, until it's so intense, we can't ignore it. I, for one have a very high tolerance level for stress. And I think a lot of other women can relate. And part of the reasons we ignore the early signs of stress, overwhelm and anger is because we accept that there's a certain amount of these emotions that's related to what's happening at work or in our business or at home. But here's the thing. Your individual signs for stress can also be signs that you're just giving too much to others and depriving you of caring for yourself and your own needs. One common response to caring for others and not taking care of our own emotional needs. It's the feeling of guilt. We feel guilty because we believe we need to do more. And that we're somehow just not doing enough.

[00:04:28] Lori: What would happen if you took a break before you reached the breaking point? That question is very, very powerful because most of us would not know what that breaking point even look like until we looked back. And in order for you to become self-aware, you would need to recognize those early signs that your body, your mind, your emotions are telling you. You and I were discussing all the things that we wanted to accomplish before the end of the year and in doing so, one of us had said how stressed we felt, because we were managing this, we were managing clients, we were managing the holidays. And it led to us recognizing just the impact stress at this level was having on our bodies. And so we kind of asked each other the question, what would happen if we went into it with a little less stress? How would the experience of enjoying the end of the year? How might that be different? And we realized this was really powerful and was necessary.

[00:05:31] Nola: We needed to ask that question, and we needed to reflect and recognize that. That's so true. And having that awareness and asking ourselves those question is really difficult for most people, as there's often a disconnect between our minds and emotions and our behaviors. That's where intuitive self-care can really help. It allows us to connect with and trust our intuition. To recognize not only the signs of feeling stressed, but also what we need to do to reduce the stress we are experiencing. And intuition may sound like a mystical thing. But noticing your immediate needs can actually help boost your emotional wellbeing. And when we practice this intuitive self-care, we learn to trust that our bodies have all the wisdom necessary to guide us. So, Lori, what exactly is intuitive self-care? How would you define it?

[00:06:26] Lori: You know, I came across a definition that resonated with me and it was very concise. So I thought I would just read this to you.

[00:06:35] Nola: Cool.

[00:06:35] Lori: Intuitive self-care is listening to, and following our body's specific needs and desires, whether that's for a certain food, a type of movement, like exercise, and the type of rest that we need in that would be a more gratifying experience. So meaning that it's not prescribed, follow this, this is what intuitive self-care or self-care in general looks like. Do A, B, C, and D. So that gratifying experience means because you're meeting your own needs. But along the lines of the whole intuitive for self-care was correlated to CEOs, both men and women who felt very confident. And what they found is that even though those CEOs were making split-second decisions, that they used both their intellect and their gut to tell them that that decision was a solid decision. So I thought about the intuitive from the perspective of the entrepreneur and thought, well, if you're using that to make decisions, it should work equally as well to understand how to make decisions about your own self-care.

[00:07:49] Nola: That's a really good point.

[00:07:50] Lori: What about you? Would you add anything to what your thoughts are?

[00:07:55] Nola: Well, yours was so comprehensive. I don't think I could add to it.

[00:07:59] Lori: Okay. Well then let me just say this. When we practice self-care on a regular basis, caring for our bodies and ourselves becomes much less of a chore and something we feel guilty about. And it becomes something that we look forward to, to receiving the pleasure and joy that it brings to us. And by pleasure and joy, meaning that we're not being selfish, which is often associated with taking care of self.

[00:08:30] Nola: Mmm, which is too bad because they really are different things.

[00:08:33] Lori: Exactly. So how do you begin to do a practice of intuitive self-care? The process begins by checking in with yourself and you can do this by gently asking yourself at any time. Like if you're stressed, if you're upset about something, if you're having a difficult time making a decision. You might sit back and gently ask, okay, what am I feeling? And listen, and see if you get a response to that. And then ask, okay, what do I need? And recognize that everybody asking themselves that question is going to come up with a different answer. And that's fine because intuitive self-care is about doing the thing that's right for you. The important thing here is to tune into yourself with as much compassion and non-judgment as possible.
Maybe in the moment you feel calm and you feel content and hopeful, and you also feel nervous and sad or guilty because you feel both things at the same time. It's not unusual for us to have those mixed emotions at the same time. For example. Let's say that you have to cut a deadline short for that day because you have to go to a child's performance. You can be extremely proud parent attending that child's performance and also resentful that you have to be there because you had something else to take care of. The intention here is to do this without attaching a storyline to it.

It's okay also, if you're totally at a loss for what you're feeling. In the beginning. If you haven't practiced intuitive self-care, you likely won't recognize what you're feeling. When this happens, try stepping back and applying tuning in with curiosity rather than judgment. So you might just say, what am I feeling right now? What do I need right now? Even if you can't answer those questions, the act of asking yourself what you need or what you're feeling is an act of self-care.

[00:10:41] Nola: This is really wise advice. And I will say that one way that I ask myself that, it helps for me to tune in to what I and my body has to tell me by putting my hands on my heart before I ask those questions or on my gut, on my tummy, my abdomen I'll do that first, just as a way of connecting and then ask, okay, how am I feeling? And what do I need? Now for some listeners, you may be thinking, this is just like really weird and it's also quite foreign. And that's fine. We're here to help you think through how to connect. And to propose some answers that you may get that can kind of put you in a path of hearing what your body has to tell you. So before we come up with some of those potential answers, just so you know, getting help, getting some kind of solution to self-care is not about going to a spa. It's not about purchasing something. It's not about not doing it, but that's not the point. These are practices that you can do on the spot, or you can make time to do without having a budget attached to it.

So for example, you put your hand on your heart or your gut and you say, what am I feeling? What do I need? You may realize you need help. And I mean, like practical help. You may need an extra set of hands or some support to help you work through and complete what you're working on. It may mean that you need some alone time, or if you're an extrovert, maybe you just really need to be with friends for a while. It could be that you need to relax and that can look many different ways. Again, it could be at the spa, but it could also be that you're just putting your feet up on the couch and you're listening to music. It could be that you just need to squeeze some real fun into your life. That could mean going to an amusement park, but it could also mean turning on your favorite eighties, music and dancing,

[00:12:53] Lori: If eighties music is your thing. What I really like about putting your hand on your heart and your abdomen is because when you're calm your heart, your loving center, is going to pick that up. So you might feel loving, you might feel relaxed, you might feel calm. Any of those things you're likely to feel in your heart area. By the same token, if you're feeling angry, frustrated, you're likely to feel that in the lower abdomen. So when you're feeling contradictory emotions, that makes sense, right? That you're feeling both of them. The other reason that I like about putting your hand in different spots is you begin to realize that for you, when you tap into what am I feeling and you can identify that. And then you ask, where am I feeling it? Then you can see how those different emotions affect the different parts of your body. And then when you ask, what do I need? You'll start to feel relief in those same spots when you're tapping into what you need. So it's likely that, for example, if you said I need support. You might feel a little bit of a relief in your back, or you might feel love coming from your heart area because getting the support that you need is a loving gesture. So your body can tell you an awful lot.

[00:14:19] Nola: That makes a lot of sense. Usually when I feel like I'm carrying way too much of a load, I do feel it on my back and my neck. And that makes a lot of sense.

[00:14:28] Lori: So taking a break, or several even small breaks throughout the day, can make a big difference. And, here's a few that we have ourselves used and we think they might be helpful. But of course, you're going to add to your list. So things like the ability to say no to somebody can really be an act of self-care. Somebody asks you for help and you had something else planned or you're too stressed. Being able to say I'd love to have been able to, however, I am maxed out today and I would not be of help or of service to you. So I'm going to be saying no. Doing something with a friend or stopping and just chatting with a coworker or a neighbor, just taking a few extra minutes, taking you out of a stress. That's a great strategy as well. Going for a walk, even a brief walk around the block, if the weather is permitting for you, can make a big difference. Playing with your child or your pet,

[00:15:29] Nola: Very therapeutic.

[00:15:31] Lori: Very therapeutic. Playing music, also really, really helpful. Do you have anything that you do specifically that works for you or that you would add?

[00:15:39] Nola: I would add, in addition to taking a walk outside, which I would recommend to anybody is I will turn on my oil diffuser. I have this collection of oils. And I will ask myself, what fragrance am I in the mood for today? And I believe that whatever you're drawn to is what your body needs and what your mood needs. So I will pick one and put on that diffuser and, have aromatherapy. Also, there's something that Eckhart Tolle said in one of his books and I'll have to look it up, but he had mentioned that having a minute of mindful quiet once an hour is a hundred times more effective than going to a 10-day silent retreat. Or something like that. I may be paraphrasing. But that has inspired me to take that minute. Just one minute, between meetings or before transition between projects and just look out the window or close my eyes and breathe, and just clear my mind for that one minute. It really makes a difference. And especially cumulative. If you keep that up throughout the day.

By incorporating a daily self-care practice, you, listeners, can start to notice how you're feeling. And this will help you become aware of what you might be needing. And finding ways to integrate small daily break activities into your day can make you feel more productive, creative, and happier.

[00:17:10] Lori: Thank you so much for listening to this episode. We hope it makes all the difference in you getting started on your side business so you can create your best and most exciting life. Not sure how to create a side business? Want some help with your branding? Contact us at stickybrandlab.com/contact. We'd be happy to help you. If you found the information shared here today helpful, let us know by posting here where you're listening or on our Facebook page. This way, we can learn more about you, your business, your goals and ideas, as well as send you love, support, encouragement, and congratulate you on the amazing and courageous decision you've made.

[00:17:49] Nola: Be sure to come back next Tuesday and every Tuesday for another informative, inspiring and motivating episode. And remember: action creates results. So tap into your desire to create a business and brand you love by taking 1% action every day. Small steps, big effects.

[00:18:07] Lori: Do you have questions about creating a personal brand, side hustle or small business? Sign up for one of our clarity sessions. For more information, contact us at stickybrandlab.com/contact.

[OUT-TAKE]

You know, before I answer that question, cause I was giving that a lot of thought. One of the, uh, one of the, let me try this again.