#117: How to Keep Your Stress Level in Check When Starting Your New Business!

Show Notes

There are plenty of benefits to starting your own side business. And while the downsides may be few, one important challenge is learning how to manage the stress that comes with being your own boss.

When we aren’t mentally, emotionally, and physically well, our businesses won’t be either. In addition to contributing to burnout, poor stress management and coping techniques can ultimately impede the growth and momentum of a company. In this episode, co-hosts Lori Vajda and Nola Boea are sharing their fifteen tips, techniques, and tools to help you reduce and manage stress so you can successfully and confidently run your side business. ​

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In This Episode You’ll Learn 

• 15 stress-reduction tips, techniques, and apps you can use to reduce stress.
• Key questions so you can easily identify your priorities, thus reducing stress. 
• Detailed techniques to improve relaxation.
• How to avoid exhaustion and burnout.

Key points Lori and Nola are sharing in this episode:

The precise meaning of experiencing stress, which can be both good and bad (02:59:83). 
(06:11:52) Anxiety, which can increase feelings of stress, looks and feels different. Here’s what anxiety looks like.
(07:08:43) Whether you stay in the business you start or go back to a traditional career, entrepreneurship teaches you things that will advance your business or career. 
(08:02:66) These are seven benefits of stress management that you probably never realized.
(12:05:49) Our 15 easy to implement stress reduction tips, techniques, and apps for time management, outsourcing, seeking support, and self-care.

Resources 
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You can subscribe to Lori and Nola's show (we love you and want to make it easy) on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Audible, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

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Transcript

[00:00:00] Nola: Starting a new business, even a side business is exciting, but it does take work. And trying to launch, get new customers and work your full-time job all at the same time, takes a lot of juggling. If you long to start your own business this year, put you're hesitant because you fear the added stress, tension, and feelings of overwhelm might just be too much, this episode is for you. Stay tuned, friend, as we share advice, tips, and resources to help you manage, reduce, and perhaps even steer clear of common stressors on your road to entrepreneurship.

[00:00:35] Announcer: You are listening to the Sticky Brand Lab podcast where times strapped professionals like you learn how to create a business you love in as little as three hours a week.

[00:00:46] Lori: Nola, what would you say are some of the challenges you've personally had? And that can be either starting a previous side business that you've had or working on our podcast.

[00:00:59] Nola: There's just never enough time. There's like the crunch, the stress of trying to do it all, especially if you don't mitigate that with the things that you were doing before you started the side business. And the guilt of not doing what you were able to accomplish if you do mitigate it. What about you?

[00:01:18] Lori: I would agree with you. Definitely time. They say we underestimate the amount of time that it would take and we overestimate how quickly we can get it done. So I particularly feel that kind of stress when I'm working on scripts for our episodes. But you and I have a checklist of stuff that we want to do. I see that checklist and I feel the stress of not being able to check things off of my task or my to-do list.

[00:01:47] Nola: Yeah, and I suspect our experiences are quite typical. I mean, when you're working a traditional job while trying to launch a new business, challenges simply come with the territory as do working long hours and weekends.

[00:02:02] Lori: Yeah, you and I, we know a thing about that. We launched our podcast two years ago, and we are still working weekends and evenings, as part of making a side business happen. And we're just starting our third year. Wow. Can you believe that?

[00:02:18] Nola: Well, let's not forget the whole year of work we put into learning, planning, and preparing for that launch. We're technically starting our fourth year. So having said that, the purpose of this episode is to help you, listener, navigate your struggles so they don't lead to overwhelming stress or worse, ongoing anxiety.

[00:02:40] Lori: Exactly. Because the point here is almost thinking of this as a lessons learned. Here's what we did, and if we knew then what we know now, we might have had a smoother journey here. So that's another point on why we wanted to do this.

[00:02:56] Nola: Absolutely. So let's get started by first defining what we mean by stress. And it's not just what we mean, because according to the National Institute of Mental Health, stress is your body's reaction to something that's happening to you or around you, so it's external. This could be anything from, let's say, giving an important pitch to a prospective client or to having a really hectic day at your day job or having a date even with someone you're excited to meet.

[00:03:24] Lori: Yeah, let me just take a moment here because I'd like to interject that we often think of the fact that a stressor or what we are talking about might be more related to professional, but it can also happen in your personal life or the combination of your personal life can overflow into your professional life and vice versa.

So it's important to recognize that stress is really your body's way of recognizing that something big is happening. And by big, that doesn't mean that it's a bad thing. It can be a good thing. Like you said, you could be excited to go out on a date, so stress can work in your favor as well. If you think that you have a big important deadline and you needed some extra boost, stress can be that inspires you to finish something. By the same token, if you don't resolve it, it can affect, for example, you're losing sleep. You might be up thinking about it and trying to work out answers in your head.

So usually, the feelings that we have of stress are oftentimes just related to a one-time event. Say that you're getting ready to go on a trip and your flight gets postponed or it gets canceled and you had a connecting flight that you were going to miss or was going to be affected. By the same token, if you're introverts like you and I are, the stress could come from the fact that we decided to step out of our comfort zone and attend a networking event.

[00:04:47] Nola: Oh, my goodness. Networking events are really bears for me.

[00:04:53] Lori: Yeah. Yeah, me too.

[00:04:54] Nola: Yeah. Talk about stress and anxiety.

[00:04:58] Lori: Actually, I have a very dear friend and she and I met at a networking event. We were sitting next to each other and the reason that we were sitting next to each other without being fully aware is we were each in our head talking about how much we didn't want to be there. And one of us made a comment out loud and the other one commiserated, and it bonded us right then and there.

[00:05:21] Nola: You're friends for life.

[00:05:21] Lori: We were friends for life. Yeah.

[00:05:24] Nola: That's funny.

[00:05:25] Lori: There's one more point that I want to make here. And that is, stress can also be a long-term occurrence. So, think about the fact that if you are working your current job but you're not happy or you have too many things on your plate and you can't get the tasks done before the next item is added to your plate.

Or for example, you ask your friends or family members to invest in your business idea and now you're carrying that responsibility on. So, stress can be a long-term occurrence, even though the catalyst was something that triggered it. That's just what I wanted to point out here, that, you know, if it's, left unchecked for too long, it can lead to some pretty serious health problems, like high blood pressure, for example.

[00:06:11] Nola: And also anxiety, keep in mind, is different from stress itself. So when you're under stress, your physical symptoms typically stem from outside circumstances and hopefully usually go away once the stressor is passed. And anxiety, on the other hand, is an internal reaction to stress and doesn't always dissipate as quickly. And that's true even when there is not an immediate physical or emotional threat. That's because anxiety is a psychological state rather than a physical one.

[00:06:42] Lori: That's a really important point, you know?

[00:06:44] Nola: Yeah. It's a difference. So anxiety is more like a persistent feeling of an apprehension or dread, and it does not go away, and it can interfere with how you live your life. It lingers even if there is no real obvious cause. So another important point on stress is if it's left unchecked, that can lead to anxiety and turn into burnout.

[00:07:08] Lori: So I just want to clarify something here because even though you and I presented the information, and it doesn't necessarily mean that it's linear in the way that we presented it. So a one-time event or a stressor doesn't necessarily lead to a long-term occurrence, but if it does, that long-term outside stressor can have real physical and emotional internal responses. And if that occurs for too long, that can lead to anxiety and either or both can lead to burnout.

[00:07:45] Nola: Exactly.

[00:07:46] Lori: I think what we're saying here is even though starting a business can be challenging and it may not be for everyone, there are many skills as a new entrepreneur you can develop to help address or reduce, even manage stress. And according to the Mayo Clinic, developing stress management techniques can really help in your own personal growth and improvement because stress management really teaches you things like you learn skills for problem solving and time management. You learn skills for coping with challenges as they arise rather than letting them build over time. Stress management teaches you how to improve relationships that are both personal and professional so you can have healthy boundaries as well as communicate your needs, your wants, and your desires. And probably the last benefit of learning stress management techniques is that you can develop relaxation techniques that can help you, so when you feel those somatic responses, you can do something that will mitigate your reaction.

[00:08:59] Nola: So, let's go ahead and look at 15 of these stress reduction tips, techniques, and apps that you can use. So I'm going to start off with a handful of tips that fall in the bucket or the category of time management, problem solving, and prioritizing.

Number one, set a schedule on your calendar to work on your business as if you're going to your traditional job. Setting a regular schedule could help you get and stay focused on the task at hand because you're making it a routine. And I might add there that putting it on your calendar is one thing, following through with it and actually doing what you put on your calendar is the most important.

[00:09:39] Lori: Yeah, a hundred percent agree with you. It could be common to women specifically, where we put others' needs ahead of our own. And what ends up happening is we prioritize work or our colleagues or our family members and then we don't get things accomplished and we feel that we are failing. So it's really important to block out time, but it's equally important to take the action step that you need as well.

[00:10:09] Nola: Exactly. Tip number two is we recommend you lay out your day first thing. Identify those tasks that are your top priorities. If you're at the idea stage, the tasks would be the action steps to launch your business. If you've already launched, the tasks you now want to focus on are the ones that will bring in business. So be sure to include working on and in your business and not just one or the other.

Tip three, focus on accomplishing measurable results. Here's a couple examples: Email five prospects. Schedule one week's worth of social media posts. Get them prescheduled. Or, log in that week's receipts into your bookkeeping software. So really, it's something that's measurable.

[00:10:56] Lori: Is that the same as quantifiable?

[00:10:58] Nola: Yes. Yeah, that's a good point. And, you had brought up something about this when we were talking about getting things done, and that is, sometimes you don't want to start because you don't think you can do a good job at getting 20 social posts done or whatever it is you're working on. So, that's why we say yes to the mess. And there's another quote that also speaks to this and that is, Perfection is procrastination in disguise. I like that. And so that's why if you think you're not going to do a fantastic 100%-plus, A, 5-star job, at least for me, I have to remind myself, you know, if I did my best and it's 80% what I expect, it's okay. It's not perfect, but I got it done. And it'll get better.

[00:11:44] Lori: Absolutely. Now I think you should lower it. 85, you know, maybe make it 70 kind of thing. Because really until you put something in practice, you don't recognize or realize how to make those small modifications. So you learn as you go and by putting it out there and having the courage to do that, not only do you have the ability to cross something off of your to-do list, but again, in measuring, you can see if it gave you the ROI that you were hoping for. And if it didn't, then you can make modifications. If it did, then move on to the next thing, knowing later you can come back and get it closer or tweak it.

[00:12:22] Nola: Good advice. Tip number four, consider outsourcing. So this could be something like hiring someone to do your laundry or your housework or getting meal service. The point is to free up more of your time that you can use to then focus on your business.

It could also be something like hiring students or interns, or even a virtual assistant to tackle some of those time consuming or repetitive tasks that are business related, such as creating those 20 social media posts. Or it could be that you're outsourcing specific skilled jobs. Like you might need to really hammer out a bunch of website content, or you might want to hammer out an email funnel or something like that, and that's something you can just, instead of spending a week or two or a month trying to get it right, hire somebody who's skilled at that from Upwork or even Fiverr.

[00:13:16] Lori: That's also another great point because when we're referring to hiring somebody, we are not saying that right from the start it has to be ongoing. We're saying there's so much to accomplish, especially in the creation stage or the early launching stage, that having someone who can do some of the easier tasks just means you move forward quicker. It can be a temporary hire to accomplish some specific goal that you have.

[00:13:45] Nola: Number five, differentiate between your private and business lives. And this again goes to prioritizing. And it's especially necessary if you are working from home. For example, don't do laundry or grocery shopping during those work hours that you've scheduled, whether we're talking a home-based remote job or your home-based business that you've intentionally put on your calendar, and also make sure your family respects those boundaries that say, I am working now. Whether you're working from home or you're working on your home base business, your family needs to understand that these are your work times.

[00:14:22] Lori: The next three tips that I'm going to give really fall under the category of they're designed to help you cope with specific challenges as they arise. So in here, number six is, keep a journal to record your experiences or your thoughts, your ideas. Or just to do even a brain dump so unhealthy thoughts don't overwhelm you.

I'll give you a really good example of something that happened recently for me. I was doing a pitch. I finished the pitch. I was reading, or at least I think I was reading their faces, and afterwards I just kept replaying that whole thing in my head over and over again. And then the voices start to come up where I get very judgmental. There's a lot of self-criticism. Some of that is rooted in fear or embarrassment, which then compounds and leads to feelings of imposter syndrome, like I'm faking this. And even if I was, it would be okay because I'm stretching myself. This is out of my comfort zone.

[00:15:26] Nola: So, by journaling and recording that, you not only are able to brain dump that you're feeling this, but now you can also write responses to yourself saying, I was out of my comfort zone. I'm so proud of myself for having tried. Right?

[00:15:41] Lori: Really good reframe. Yeah. Number seven, take some time out of your week to completely detach from work-related technology. This is so important. It gets really easy to neglect the things that excite you or help stimulate creativity like hobbies do, or being out in nature. And if you don't make a point and even really block that time out on your calendar, you can just work straight through and that's not healthy.

[00:16:12] Nola: For me, when I think about the way to detach from technology, it's so easy to keep my phone with me everywhere. My favorite way of detaching, it's just leave my phone inside and go do some gardening. And I happen to have a yard where I can do that, but that also applies to a patio or a window sill even. But for me, leaving the phone inside and going outside to garden is the perfect disconnect.

[00:16:37] Lori: I think that's a really important point, and part of it is there's research out there that talks about how healthy being in nature can be for your creativity, for your mindfulness, for a variety of health-related reasons. But we tend to think of going someplace, like going to a national park. You don't have to go to a national park. You can be in the grass in your own yard and still reap those benefits. You just have to be willing to leave your phone in the house while you go outside.

So my final tip here for coping, tip number eight, is enlist professional support. And by that, it's good to have mentors or coaches that can help you with your business. In addition, if you are feeling some mental health stresses, it's important to recognize that and deal with it. Then you'll want to contact a mental health professional, like a counselor or a therapist.

[00:17:36] Nola: I'd like to point out that if you happen to have insurance, say from you or your spouse's employer, They often have what's called an E A P or an Employee Assistance Program, and that provides you a certain number of sessions free built into the premium, with a professional counselor. And it's especially built in so that you can talk to somebody about any kind of stress that you're feeling.

I am going to launch next into three more tips that are specifically intended to help you improve your personal and professional relationships. Number nine. Talk to your spouse about your entrepreneurial goals and gain his or her emotional support. Part of that is setting expectations and an understanding about the fact that your free time is going to be limited. You're not going to be available to do some of the things that you were able to do prior to taking on this entrepreneurial journey. And you want to get your spouse to come along that journey with you. And part of that is discussing ways that your spouse might be able to help out. So, that could be with household tasks, sharing some of that load, or it could be with financial support that could look like either, for example, if you want to work less at your day job, meaning less income so that you can focus, your spouse might be in the position to be able to increase their hours or their sales or whatever, to help support the household. Or, it might be that your spouse is understanding that, okay, we're going to have a little less income in here now, so I'm willing to tighten the belt with you.

So, that's with your spouse. But you also want to nurture relationships with your friends. Tip number 10 is resolve to call or meet up with, or just somehow connect with at least one friend a month. And this is especially important, if you feel like your work has taken time away from your friendships. That's what's something you want to avoid. Because when you are working so much that you're not engaging in those personal relationships, that again increases stress. So you want to resolve to call or connect with at least one friend a month.

[00:19:55] Lori: Yeah, I myself don't usually do New Year's resolutions, but this year particularly, I wrote out some dear friends that I have lost touch with on a regular basis. And realized that if I didn't prioritize at least reaching out to them and block out the time and put it on my calendar, another week would go by, another month would go by and it would just take me further and further away from them.

[00:20:23] Nola: You're doing good.

[00:20:24] Lori: Thank you.

[00:20:24] Nola: Tip number 11, nurture your professional network. Okay, so you've gone through the anxiety of meeting people at networking events. Now you can build those contacts into more meaningful professional relationships. For example, you can send a networking acquaintance a helpful article and spark a discussion, or you can engage your contacts that may be in a LinkedIn group, engage them in dialogue. This isn't to sell anything. This is really just to say, Hey, we connected. I'd like to just keep in touch on a professional level.

[00:20:57] Lori: Really helpful. And speaking of helpful, these next three tips are related to healthy habits that you can develop. So caring for yourself becomes easier if you set daily practices in motion. And this can include things like a regular time for meditation or gratitude or breath work or yoga, exercise, even going for a walk. And they don't have to be long, like 30 minutes or more. You can do, for example, on one of the apps that I have, they have minute meditations. You can just do one minute or three minutes or a five-minute and that over time has really positive effects. But you have to make them a regular practice in order to reap the benefits. So, you and I, in discussing what has worked for us, we marked time off on our calendar and we treat it like we would any other meeting with a client. In this case, it's you and I ourselves are the clients. So we are showing respect for ourselves.

Thirteen, make sure you're eating healthy regular meals. And while that sounds good, if you don't plan it out and then actually put it into action, you end up pressed for time and that often either has you skipping a meal and then overeating at the next one, or you eat the fastest thing that you can grab, and that's usually sugary or processed. Because it gives you an immediate up of energy, but that's usually followed by a crash.
 Two things actually that are pretty important here. The first one is you want to be able to distinguish the difference between hunger and thirst. We often feed our thirst because we don't recognize that we're not getting enough water or liquid.

[00:22:47] Nola: That is so true.

[00:22:48] Lori: So similarly, it's important to distinguish between hunger and boredom. So this is a guilty one specifically for me because right off of my office is the kitchen. So, if I go stretch my legs, and I'm trying to work out an idea but I haven't got there yet, I am trying to disengage and I will mindlessly go over to the refrigerator or a drawer or wherever and put something in my mouth. And here, I'm not really hungry. I'm just bored or I'm trying to disconnect.

[00:23:25] Nola: I can relate.

[00:23:26] Lori: Tip number 14, stick to a bedtime routine and make sure you're getting enough sleep. This is my red flag here. You want to stop looking at your TV or your phone screen, it's recommended two hours prior to bedtime. Studies show that anything closer, the shorter period of time, your body doesn't produce melatonin, which you need in order to fall asleep faster. So it ends up that TV and screen time acts as a stimulant and keeps your brain active, delaying you getting into a restful sleep. So, if you can set your phone on bedtime mode, which turns the screen to a grayish scale, that helps reduce your brain activity. And I don't know about you Nola, but I don't do this particularly, but I know people who do. And that's, I've heard, reading before bed, like an actual book,

[00:24:21] Nola: Paper book. Yeah. That works for me.

[00:24:22] Lori: That black and white.

[00:24:23] Nola: Yeah. And you don't have that light in the back. You're not looking at a light all the time. That's what your screen is, is a light. And so, you're avoiding that whole stimulus when you're looking at a just a plain old paper book page.

[00:24:35] Lori: So one of the tips that we also have under here for disconnecting with technology is that if you do wake up in the middle of the night, don't look at the clock, either on your side table there or on your phone, because that switches on that anxiety, or thought process and gets you going. Now I say that and I will also admit that this is not a rule I can follow. I personally do use the sleep mode on my phone, so for me, looking over at my phone to see what time it is makes it easier for me mentally to relax and fall back to sleep because I think, oh, I have another hour to go, or more. And so now I can go back to sleep with ease.

[00:25:22] Nola: So for me, it's the opposite.

[00:25:25] Lori: Really.

[00:25:25] Nola: Yeah, if I see the time, my brain, I think just calculating the time and figuring out, well, what does that mean how much I have to sleep? My brain just flips on. It turns a switch; it activates some part of my brain. Everything starts firing, and then I really am awake. If I wake up and I don't see a clock, I can go back to sleep. But if I see a clock, I'm doomed. In fact, I had a digital alarm clock in my bedroom for a long time that I turned around, facing away from me, so that if I woke up in the middle of the night, I would not read the time.

[00:26:01] Lori: Well, I guess that's how you and I are different.

[00:26:04] Nola: Yes. The last tip, tip number 15, actually all has to do with practicing relaxation techniques. You can download an app that provides relaxation exercises, such as deep breathing or visualization, or tips for practicing mindfulness. Now, if you're unfamiliar with what mindfulness is, just think of it as something that you do that helps you pay attention to the present moment. You're just being here now. Now, often when we're stressed, our emotions can get out of control. And whether that's anger or sadness or anxiety, like we talked about, having a regular mindfulness practice can really help you manage those emotions.

Here are some apps that you can check out. One is called 10% Happier.

[00:26:54] Lori: That's mine. I use that one.

[00:26:56] Nola: You use that one, yes.

[00:26:58] Lori: Yeah. And I did it for an entire year for free, and then I purchased a membership because it gives you more tools and a variety of more benefits.

[00:27:09] Nola: That's interesting. I didn't know that because I did the same thing with Insight Timer, which I was going to mention next. Yes. They have hundreds, if not thousands of free tracks. In fact, all of their meditations are free, but there are some other benefits to a paid membership. So I finally, after a year of using it, I committed as well, and it's very popular.

Another popular one is called Calm and another one is Headspace is the name of it. So those are four apps to check out. We've also, just so you know, got a couple of breathwork exercises on our website and you can listen to those and just follow along. You can just go to the Mindset Reset section of StickyBrandLab.com and there's just a couple of breathwork exercises there for you.

[00:27:56] Lori: That's really important. And they're great. They're really helpful.

[00:27:59] Nola: Yeah. They're only like five or six minutes.

[00:28:01] Lori: I think one of the things to keep in mind, listener, and that you and I, Nola, have learned, is for your business to get started on a positive foundation, you as the founder need to be at your peak, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically, holistically, right? And this includes making time for activities that increase your mental wellbeing. You can facilitate wellbeing by learning to recognize early triggers and setting appropriate boundaries. Often, we don't notice the low-level stress or anxiety or sadness or frustration or whatever it is that we're feeling. We only recognize it when it's at a like a nine level or a 10 or 11 as we are commonly say. So not only is stress management good for you, but practicing the tips that we've shared and the techniques and using the apps that we've shared here today is good for your business.

[00:29:05] Nola: Absolutely. Thank you so much for listening to this episode. We hope the tips and resources we've shared encourage you to pursue your entrepreneurial journey mindfully so you can create your best and most exciting business and life. If you found the information helpful, let us know by posting here where you're listening, or on our Facebook page.

[00:29:26] Lori: Not sure how to turn your idea into a profitable side business? Contact us at stickybrandlab.com/contact. We'd be happy to help you.

[00:29:36] Nola: Be sure to come back next Tuesday and every Tuesday for another informative, inspiring, and motivating episode. And remember, action creates results. So tap into your desire to create a business and brand you love by taking 1% action every day. Small steps, big effects.

[OUT-TAKE]

I suspect our experiences… [laughter]

We've got to get through this.

[00:30:13] Lori: It's the last one before the holiday break.

[00:30:16] Nola: That's right. The stress has gotten to our sanity.

And we're here to tell you about it!