​The Myth of Having a Singular Passion or Purpose
 
Often, we are asked from a young age what we want to be when we grow up. As children, it's easy to dream up a multitude of possibilities, but as we enter adulthood, the pressure to choose a single career path can feel overwhelming. Many of us may not have a clear idea of what we want to do and feel that it is unfair to be expected to make such a significant decision at a young age. The same can be said for individuals who have difficulty pinpointing their purpose or finding a specific passion.
 
The Pressure to Find Passion and Purpose
 
There is a common belief that having a passion or purpose in life is essential for leading a fulfilled life. The assumption is that this passion or purpose will provide us with motivation, drive, and a clear sense of direction. It is believed that knowing our why will help us stay focused and organized, especially during challenging times. However, this assumption may not hold true for everyone.
 
Passion and Purpose Can Change
 
The idea of having a singular passion or purpose can be intimidating, especially if we are not sure what that is or if it changes over time. Instead of feeling pressured to find one specific passion or purpose, it may be more productive to adopt a flexible approach. Just as our interests and goals evolve, our passion and purpose can also change.
 
Explore the Dessert Buffet Approach
 
Rather than relying on a singular passion or purpose, we can take inspiration from a dessert buffet approach. Just like a buffet offers a variety of options to cater to different preferences, we can approach life and career choices with an open mind and embrace the opportunities that come our way. This flexible approach allows for exploration, adaptation, and the freedom to pursue multiple interests and paths.
 
Align Your Values to Find Meaning
 
While it may not be necessary to have a singular passion or purpose, it is important to align our work with our values. When our values align with our career or business choices, it provides a sense of fulfillment and ensures our work is meaningful to us. This alignment allows us to find satisfaction and prevents us from feeling unfulfilled in our endeavors.
 
Embrace Growth and Learning
 
Embracing a passion or purpose does not mean that we have to be a master at it from the start. It is essential to be open to learning and growing in our chosen paths. We may start with poor skills, but with practice and perseverance, we can develop and improve over time. Being willing to do something poorly initially is a stepping stone to becoming better in the long run.
 
The Fluidity of Passions and Purposes
 
Passions and purposes can change throughout our lives based on our circumstances, experiences, and personal growth. What may have been a passion in one phase of life may no longer hold the same significance in another. Embracing this fluidity allows us to explore new interests and adapt our goals to align with our current values and aspirations.
 
Look at Your Business & Career Through the Lens of Legacy
 
Ultimately, what matters is how we want to be remembered. Instead of living our lives solely focused on a singular passion or purpose, we should strive to lead a life that brings us happiness and allows us to make a positive impact on the world. Whether our legacy is through our work, relationships, or personal growth, finding fulfillment is about discovering what truly matters to us and pursuing it with joy and dedication.
 
Enjoy the Buffet!
 
While the idea of having a singular passion or purpose has its merits, it may not be necessary for everyone. Embracing a dessert buffet approach to life and career choices allows for exploration, adaptability, and the freedom to pursue multiple interests and paths. By aligning our work with our values, embracing growth, and focusing on leaving a meaningful legacy, we can find fulfillment and success without the pressure to pinpoint a singular passion or purpose. Remember, a life well-lived is one that brings happiness and allows us to make a positive impact on the world.
 
Hear More!
 
Listen to Lori & Nola discuss this topic in-depth on Episode 162 of the Sticky Brand Lab podcast. 

Understanding Perfectionism

Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar, author of "The Pursuit of Perfect," offers a unique perspective on perfectionism. He defines it as a rejection of painful emotions, a fear of failure, and even a rejection of success. This definition highlights the complexity of perfectionism, which often involves the avoidance of perceived negative outcomes.

Adaptive perfectionism is a healthier form that involves striving for higher standards, working hard, and desiring improvement. In contrast, maladaptive perfectionism leads to unrealistic expectations and a fear of failure that can be emotionally debilitating.

Overcoming Perfectionism

Recognizing the impact of perfectionism on our lives is the first step toward embracing failure. We must acknowledge that the pursuit of perfection can hinder our personal and professional growth. Here are some strategies to help us overcome perfectionism:

1. Reframe Failure: Instead of viewing failure as a negative outcome, consider it an exercise, a step, or a lesson in your journey toward a larger goal. Write down what you've learned from your failures and how you can apply those lessons in the future.
2. Experiment: Break down your goals and tasks into smaller, manageable steps. Approach new challenges with a growth mindset, treating them as creative experiments without rigid rules. This mindset shift encourages curiosity, creativity, and the joy of learning.
3. Embrace Your Past: Reflect on your past experiences and how they've influenced your fear of failure. Understand that childhood experiences, expectations from others, and past mistakes have shaped your mindset. Grant yourself and others grace, and rewrite the narratives from the past.
4. Transform Pain into Power: Acknowledge that failure is an opportunity to learn and grow. When painful memories resurface, welcome them as guests at the party, knowing that each acknowledgment is a step toward healing and letting go.
5. Practice Self-Care: Celebrate your achievements, no matter how small, as you rewrite your past and maintain a growth mindset. Self-care is essential in nurturing a positive outlook on failure and life in general.

Embrace Failure for Success

Embracing failure is a journey that requires time, practice, and self-compassion. While we don't actively seek out failure, viewing it as a natural part of the learning process can lead to personal and professional growth. By understanding the connection between perfectionism and fear of failure and implementing strategies to overcome them, we can open ourselves up to a world of opportunities for learning and self-improvement.

Listen to Lori Vajda and Nola Boea share their personal stories of overcoming perfectionism, in podcast Episode 155. 

Rethinking Retirement - A Paradigm Shift
 
To truly grasp the need for a transformation in our approach to retirement, let's first paint a picture of the conventional life journey. Traditionally, life has been seen as a sequence of three distinct phases: childhood to young adulthood marked by education, followed by adulthood and career-building, and finally, the third phase where retirement signifies the end of work and the beginning of leisure and relaxation.
 
However, this age-old model no longer aligns with our modern realities. The concept of retirement, as we know it today, was established in an era when people could expect merely five to ten additional years of life after retiring. Fast forward to today, and it's evident that individuals can potentially enjoy two, three, or even four additional decades of active, healthy living.
 
This epiphany prompts us to question whether education, work, and leisure should be neatly compartmentalized into these three distinct phases. What if, instead, we integrated work and leisure into ALL stages and seasons of our lives? In this context, the traditional retirement concept appears antiquated and out of touch with our current and future realities.
 
It's not just us (Lori and Nola) advocating for this paradigm shift; studies confirm that the majority of people now view retirement as a new chapter of life, rather than the end. Moreover, a collaborative study revealed that nearly 60% of those surveyed believed the ideal mix of work and leisure in retirement includes some form of work.
 
In essence, a paradigm shift is underway. Retirement is no longer about a one-time event where you cease work entirely; it's about planning for a future where you can retire from one career or phase to embrace another throughout your life. It's time to retire retirement and embrace a more fluid and holistic approach to our life journey.
 
F.I.R.E. - The Flawed Promise of Early Retirement
 
In recent years, a retirement trend has grown in popularity - F.I.R.E., which stands for Financial Independence, Retire Early. On the surface, it seems to be an appealing solution, especially for millennials, who seek to escape the traditional notion of waiting until their 60s or 70s to enjoy life. However, when we examine it closely, we find that FIRE may not be the magic bullet it's often touted to be.
 
The basic premise of FIRE is straightforward: save aggressively, invest aggressively, and live super frugally to achieve financial freedom quickly, allowing for early retirement. It sounds enticing, right? While the principles of saving, investing wisely, and living frugally are sound, the extreme approach advocated by FIRE can lead to unintended consequences.
 
One major flaw lies in the deferred gratification philosophy that both traditional retirement and FIRE share. Whether you retire at 65 or 35, you're still postponing the joys of life to some future date. Studies have shown that those who follow the FIRE path often face burnout, mental health concerns, and even physical and emotional challenges due to their relentless pursuit of financial independence.
 
Moreover, societal and technological shifts are reshaping the job market, making it increasingly uncertain. Age discrimination is a real issue, and jobs are evolving at a rapid pace. This prompts us to question whether the conventional retirement, including early retirement, is even attainable or desirable.
 
So, what's the solution? Instead of locking ourselves into rigid retirement timelines, we must embrace a more flexible and holistic approach to life planning. This involves diversifying income streams, investing in lifelong learning, and focusing on experiences and personal growth rather than just financial milestones.
 
In the face of evolving work dynamics and extended lifespans, it's crucial to reimagine the entire concept of retirement. The path to fulfillment doesn't have to involve postponing happiness; it should be about enjoying the journey every step of the way.
 
The paradigm of retirement, whether traditional or early, needs a shift to better align with the dynamic nature of our lives.
 
Embracing Life as a Journey, Not an End Date
 
In the ever-changing landscape of life, it's essential to recognize there are limits to what we can plan for. Traditional practices are evolving, driven by technological advancements that offer new opportunities and choices. We can either resist change and cling to the illusion of total control over our futures, or we can choose a different path – one that involves being open to the unexpected, paying attention to the signs, and trusting our intuition.
 
Life should be embraced as a journey, not as an endpoint. While we may have plans for our retirement, it's crucial to remain adaptable and open to what life presents to us.
 
Consider the story of a colleague who diligently saved for retirement, dreaming of a luxurious world tour cruise in the future. However, life had other plans. His wife battled cancer, and he faced a heart attack and triple bypass surgery. In the face of uncertainty, they chose not to defer their dreams to an uncertain "end date." Instead, they decided to live that dream now, traveling and exploring the world, recognizing that life is not guaranteed.
 
Another colleague's story reinforces this philosophy. She combined her traditional private therapy practice with a creative venture, creating a multidisciplinary wellness center. Her husband, too, ventured into app development for nonprofits, ultimately transitioning into full-time entrepreneurship. They structured their lives to include downtime, continuous learning, and creative pursuits, emphasizing that work and leisure should blend harmoniously throughout life.
 
Life's journey is full of surprises, and the key to fulfillment is remaining open to these unexpected twists and turns. Retirement, in its traditional sense, should not be the goal; instead, it should be about crafting a life that allows you to continuously explore, learn, create, and savor every moment along the way.
 
The Strategic Life Action Plan (S.L.A.P) - Designing Your Journey
 
In our quest to revolutionize the way we approach retirement and life, we (Nola and Lori) crafted an acronym we affectionately refer to as S.L.A.P – the Strategic Life Action Plan. This acronym underscores the need for a wake-up call, challenging us to reconsider the conventional way of planning our careers and our lives. It's about embracing a paradigm shift.
 
So, how can you get started with your S.L.A.P? Download your SLAP worksheet from the Sticky Brand Lab website, here. Begin by examining your current season or stage of life. Whether you're in your mid-forties, early fifties, or at any other point on your life's timeline, take a moment to envision what life might look like ten years from now. What changes do you foresee?
 
For instance, consider your relationships. Will your children have left the nest? Are you single or in a committed partnership? Could aging parents become part of your caregiving responsibilities? By thoughtfully reflecting on these aspects, you can anticipate future needs and desires.
 
Next, delve into your career. Do you envision continuing in your current job? Or could this be the moment to explore a new business venture? Perhaps you're nurturing a hobby that could evolve into a thriving income stream. The key is to identify what skills you need to shape your career's trajectory.
 
Finances are a crucial element. Analyze your current financial situation and envision where you want to be in a decade. Consider the balance between active and passive income. Can you develop passive income streams to secure your financial future?
 
Your health and wellness should also feature prominently. Set health goals and devise a plan to achieve them over the next ten years.
 
Finally, and most importantly, revisit your bucket list. Don't wait until an arbitrary retirement date to pursue your dreams. Incorporate these aspirations into your journey now. Think creatively; perhaps you can weave some experiences into your current life phase.
 
Life evolves, and you must evolve with it. Your S.L.A.P is not a rigid blueprint but a dynamic roadmap. Start with your ten-year vision, then reverse-engineer it to identify the small steps that will propel you toward your overarching goals. Remember, “Small steps lead to big effects.” By making incremental changes and reevaluating your plan annually, you can design a life that thrives in a rapidly changing world.
 
Nola and I are embracing this approach in our own lives. We've integrated our podcast and vertical business model alongside our full-time careers, recognizing the signs of change and evolving with them. Our philosophy? Seize the moment, design your journey, and ensure you extract the fullest richness life has to offer. We talk more about this in Episode #143
 
 
Embrace Life as a Journey, Not a Destination
 
Retirement isn't a destination; it's a journey. Life is meant to be experienced, with all its ups and downs, ebbs and flows, and changing seasons and stages. It's time to rethink the way we approach life and retirement.
 
Be an early adopter of this new mindset. Recognize that the world is changing, and life as we know it is evolving. Even if you're not an early adopter, be aware that change is on the horizon. Begin exploring new ways of thinking and planning for your future, one that prioritizes your needs and desires. Consider a different lifestyle. Perhaps it's time to start your side business and embark on the journey of entrepreneurship in the second half of your vibrant life.
 
Remember, you have a lot of life left to live, so seize the moment, design your path, and savor every step of the journey!

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